


Let's End This..

by FluffyVK



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Blood and Injury, Fluffy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 01:30:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FluffyVK/pseuds/FluffyVK
Summary: Shizuo finds Izaya in his apartment, more fragile than ever before, and Shizuo decides to come clean with his thoughts about the two of them.





	Let's End This..

“How.. How long have you been standing there..?”

 

Shizuo was frozen in place, his eyes fixed on the bloody blade hanging loosely in Izaya's grip. He swallowed the lump in his throat, but still didn't manage to give an answer. Couldn't even form a coherent thought. Izaya's hair was disheveled and knotted together. His eyes seemed dull and sunken in. Had he lost weight? Shizuo couldn't recall the last time he'd seen the informant and while Izaya had always been more on the slim side, he'd never looked this fragile.   
  
Which made the stream of red, flowing down the informant's arm all the more concerning.

  
A drop of blood hitting the floor snapped Shizuo out of his trance.

“I..”, he stammered: “How long has this been going on for?”  
  
Izaya averted his gaze. Another droplet lost against gravity.   
  
“That doesn't answer my question, Shizu-chan..”, Izaya barked, but his voice sounded weak, so the words didn't have any of the usual bite to them. Not that Izaya let his anger show often.

The informant swayed a little, almost losing his balance. Startled, Shizuo instinctively took a step towards the other. Izaya's hand shot up and while his arm shook lightly, he stood his ground.  
  
“Don't get any closer!”, he yelled, steadying himself on his work desk.

Shizuo obliged and immediately stopped in his movement.  
  
“How long?”, Izaya asked again, his arm falling back to his side.

Shizuo curled his fingers into a fist, desperately wanting to stand by the informant's side. He looked about ready to pass out at any second and, as if on cue, Izaya pressed the palm of his hand against his forehead, groaning quietly. 

Shizuo watched as a small puddle of blood began to form on the desk's surface.  
  
Izaya sighed and supported himself on both of his shaky arms, closing his eyes as he muttered: “I'm not going to repeat myself again, Shizu-chan..”  
  
“Long enough..”, the debt collector finally replied.

Another sigh escaped Izaya's lips. He cautiously pushed himself off the table and turned to face Shizuo, his eyes scanning his surroundings. A habit he had developed in Shizuo's presence. Though.. this time everything seemed colourless and hazy. His apartment was never vibrant by any means. Izaya had gotten accustomed to the modern, black and white interior. It gave him a sense of comfort and professionalism. Everything was always where it was supposed to be, but looking around now, Izaya noticed folders strewn about. Individual pieces of paper not only lying on his desk, but also scattered on the floor and his coffee table. Unwashed cups of tea and coffee were carelessly left at random places, staining bits of information he had been desperate to gather. His apartment almost reflected the mess he was.   
  
Before he even registered what was happening, Shizuo suddenly appeared at his side and carefully, almost gently, guided him towards one of the couches in the living room. To his own surprise, Izaya didn't fight it, even when the blade was taken from his hand and discarded. He merely dragged his feet after himself in the direction Shizuo led him. He was pushed down by the shoulders and as soon as he hit the soft cushions, his body collapsed forward. Fortunately, Shizuo didn't move from his spot, so Izaya fell into his chest.   
  
“Izaya?”, the debt collector called his name, squeezing his shoulders lightly.  
  
The informant merely answered with a soft hum, his eyes unfocused. Shizuo carefully pushed him backwards, so he was leaning against the back of the couch instead of Shizuo's body.

Izaya's head lolled to the side and Shizuo made haste in searching for a first aid kit. He rushed into the bathroom and ripped open all of the cabinets, almost unhinging them in the process. His eyes scanned their contents rapidly, before landing on a small box with a cross on it.  
  
“Jackpot..”, he whispered to himself, grinning triumphantly.

He unclasped it while making his way back to Izaya. When he arrived, the informant was still as dazed as when he left. Shizuo couldn't decide if that was good or bad and instead opted for focusing on treating the huge slits on Izaya's bloody arm. Already Shizuo could hear the earful he would get for letting the white couch cushions be soaked in red. However he ignored the thought. There were more important issues at hand.

Shizuo pulled out a cotton swab and doused it in disinfectant, before gently dabbing the wounds. Izaya suddenly sprang to life again and pulled his arm away, hissing at the pain.

“What do you think you're doing?!”, the informant yelled, holding his arm close to his chest protectively and glaring daggers at Shizuo.

Without hesitation, Shizuo carefully pulled the arm back down, firmly holding it in place and continuing with his task. This time Izaya, while still hissing and twitching at the burning sensation of the disinfectant, tried to hold as still as possible.

The apartment was quiet, save for the soft noises Izaya let out, making it easier for Shizuo to concentrate. He started wrapping bandages around the wounds and Izaya immediately complained that “It's too tight”. 

“Shut it, flea..”, Shizuo murmured: “I need to make sure the bleeding stops.”

Izaya rolled his eyes and leaned back again, looking out the window. The usually busy streets of Shinjuku were eerily empty. Granted it was late at night, but the city seemed.. dead almost.  
  
“How fitting..”, Izaya whispered with a breathy chuckle.

Shizuo glanced at what Izaya was watching, but he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. His gaze wandered to the informant's face. It was pale. Far paler than usual. The bags underneath his eyes seemed even deeper this way and Shizuo wondered briefly, if Izaya had been sleeping at all since he had seen him last.

The debt collector secured the end of the gauze with a piece of medical tape, before placing everything back into the first aid kit and pushing it aside. Izaya's eyes shifted to watch him, seemingly unsure of what to do next.

This was out of place for Shizuo. Why would he tend to his arch-nemesis? And this gently and caring on top of that. Izaya didn't know how to react or what to think and it unnerved him. He shifted uncomfortably on the couch, ignoring his aching arm and sluggish movement.  
  
“Relax..", Shizuo assured him: “I'm not going to hurt you, when you already took care of that yourself..”  
  
His words sounded.. hurt?  
  
Why would he be upset by that? Izaya was supposed to be his enemy. Enemies didn't care about each other. They didn't feel sympathy or compassion for one another. This wasn't right.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Shizuo took a seat next to Izaya, leaning back and staring at the ceiling. His thoughts were stuck in an endless cycle of _why?_

 

Why would Izaya do this to himself?

Why didn't he go to Shinra for help?

Why did he have to let things get this bad?

 

And most of all..

 

“Why didn't you tell me..?”, Shizuo asked, catching Izaya by surprise.  
  


The informant stared for a while, unsure of what to answer. He didn't know.

Why should he have told his nemesis about his weakness?

 

“You and I both know that this whole..”, Shizuo gestured between the two of them: “This whole.. enemy thing is just.. a.. a stupid game.”

He leaned forward suddenly, raking his hands through his hair. The solution to this seemed so easy. They could've prevented it from going this far.

“Do you ever think we should..”, he hesitated for a moment: “Stop doing this..?”

Izaya watched as Shizuo turned to look at him, his eyes full of pain.

 

_Yes_ , he wanted to say.

_I hate this rivalry. Let's stop acting. Let's stop lying to ourselves._

But the words couldn't seem to leave his throat.

 

“I..”, he mumbled, his voice cracking the instant he spoke.

He didn't even register the tears flowing down his cheeks before Shizuo went to wipe them away with his thumbs, a gentle smile gracing his features.

“I know..”, the debt collector whispered: “You don't have to say anything. I know.”

He pulled Izaya into a hug, wrapping his arms around the informant protectively. Izaya felt his body relax into the warmth and suddenly all the exhaustion of the past few weeks caught up to him. His head felt hazy. Eyelids growing heavier by the second.

The last thing he heard before drifting off into the darkness was Shizuo's gentle, soothing voice:

“I got you.”

 

And maybe, just this once, Izaya was okay with the utter loss of control in his life.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it :)
> 
> I'm always open for constructive criticism and suggestions  
> Also if anyone would like me to try my hand on a commission, I'd be glad to do so :)


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